Submissive Rebel?

 

Give me rules, I will break them

Give me lines, I will cross them

I need more than a truth to believe

I need a truth that lives, moves, and breathes

To sweep me off my feet

It ought to be

More like falling in love

Than something to believe in

More like losing my heart

Than giving my allegiance

Caught up, called out

Come take a look at me now

Its like I'm falling, oh

Its like I'm falling in love

Give me words, I'll misuse them

Obligations, I'll misplace them

Cause all religion ever made of me

Was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet

It never set me free

It's gotta be

CHORUS

It's like I'm falling in love, love, love

Deeper and deeper

It was love that made

Me a believer

In more than a name, a faith, a creed

Falling in love with Jesus brought the change in me

CHORUS

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What is a "submissive rebel"?  Isn't that an oxymoron?  Well, yes, but what a descriptive term!  My youngest daughter calls herself a "submissive rebel," and I can so totally understand what she means.  I believe that I am one also.  (Shhh, don't tell her!!!)

Webster defines submissive as "submitting to others."  Submit means to "yield to authority."  So, I would say a good combination of those terms to describe submissive would be..."yielding to the authority of others."  "Rebel" on the other hand, would be "opposing a ruler" or authority.  Truly opposites!!  Submit or oppose.

How could one be a "submissive rebel" then?  The way I see it in me is a deep desire to submit to the Lord and do His will (submissive part), which is always battling with that rebellious side of me that wants to go my own way (rebel).

These verses come to mind regarding that constant war we battle with our flesh:

Romans 7:15-20:

¹⁵ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶ And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸ For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. 

So I wonder, are there other "submissive rebels" like my daughter and I out there?  I put the song by Jason Gray at the beginning of this post because I hear in it the cries of a "submissive rebel."  Wanting to do what is right and believe, but still struggling...

Have a blessed day!
~Amy